we have officially lost it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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