Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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