Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he wants to bone in the snuggie
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
