Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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