i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
