loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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