I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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