Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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