just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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