So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
