watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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