He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We got so high we made milksteak
Life is so much better after having sex.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
