my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
