I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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