totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
