i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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