What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
