Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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