Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
