I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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