id be glad to
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
