Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
