Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
