Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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