Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
