Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
