so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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