I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have aggressive nipples.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
