New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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