A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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