how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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