I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think your dad took our porno
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
