girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
