suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
