i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Someone came in the potted fern
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
