Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
