I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
