The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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