I hate all girls vehemently.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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