He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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