I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
