I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Two words: blizzard sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
