I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
