I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
