Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
