somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
