since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
