Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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