elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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