i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
