In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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