it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
