Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
